Richards letter...

Here's a letter I wrote to the girls in 2006 after the death of Ann Richards. Soon they'll be able to read this and understand it...

September 18, 2006
Girls –
Today Ann Richards, a former governor of Texas, was buried in the Texas State Cemetery. I’ve been reading accounts of her life, and I felt compelled to write you a letter for you to read when you are older and are more understanding of history. Hers is an inspiring story, and the type of story I can envision you each writing before your time on earth ends.
She was just a girl from Waco, and she raised four kids. She grew up in a time when women weren’t given a lot of opportunity to take part in the political process, and in fact, it was a time when women were expected to stay at home, rear children, cook and clean and be submissive to men. There were few women in politics, few women in places of professional prominence, and even fewer women who were on equal financial ground with men professionally. It was a tough time, tougher than any of us can imagine.
She came through that time and ran for a local office. After being a housewife (she was determined to be at home with her kids, just as your mother made the same commitment to you), she decided she wanted to run for office. She won.
But during her political life, she also had to overcome some personal problems, bumps in the road that you, too, might experience. You will have problems in your life, that you can be assured. She was an alcoholic. She smoked for 25-30 years. She divorced her husband, and had to deal with that upheaval and hurt; it was a tough time for her and her kids. When she was knocked down, she got up and went about her business. She made do.
She didn’t quit, and she was incessantly positive. She was always positive!! Every day she got up and fought forward and persevered. She worked. Every day was a new chance, a new, clean slate. And she also maintained great compassion throughout her life. This compassion was one of the reasons people were so attracted to her, and were so willing to vote for her. She was strong, but she also related to people who weren’t as fortunate as she. She was giving and approachable. If either of you decide to go into politics – really, these are lessons not limited to politics…just remember that there are people who will always need your help. Reach out!
What she did for women was simple: she gave them opportunity. She ran for governor and won, and promptly named more women and minorities to different commissions and boards than anyone in history. She gave women a chance when, in the past, others didn’t do so. She opened doors. History books will say that she “empowered” women, and that is so true. She was smart, and she did not allow anyone – certainly not men – decide her fate. You, too, can accomplish what you want if you are willing to work hard – but do so only if you maintain your compassion for others. I believe compassion and empathy are the traits that truly shape your soul and make you human. Always love others. Always. Especially those who might not get as much love in their lives otherwise. This will enrich you so much, in addition to helping others.
A funny story about Richards…Once she was at Scholz’ Beer Garden in Austin with a fellow politician named Bob Bullock (the state history museum is named after him). At any rate, with them was a black man named Charles (I believe that was his first name) Miles, another friend. Well, this was a big-time political party, and this racist old judge from East Texas came upon the group.
“Hello, Bob!” he bellowed.
Bullock shook his hand and said, “Jim, I’d like you to meet my friends. This is Charles Miles, he heads up our human resources department.”
The old judge looked at him derisively and barely shook his hand, saying, “Hello, boy.” It was an awkward moment, and Miles felt about two feet tall. What the judge said was cruel and wrong and full of hatred.
Then the judge looked at Ann Richards.
“Well, who are you, good lookin’?” he said with a grin.
And Ann Richards smiled a big smile back at the man, looked him in the eye and said, “I’m Mrs. Miles.”I’ve always thought that was a great story.
I guess I’m rambling…I just want you to do me a favor and do some reading on Ann Richards. I hope the history bug bites you as it has me…I love characters like her! Most of us – and I am included on this list – never feel like they quite have given enough to the earth, you know, to others. I guess everyone, at the end of their lives, wonders if they’ve given enough, if the world is better because they spent some time here.
I think Ann Richards probably did make this place better, and I think hers is just one example of people who have in fact maximized their time here. And there are others all around you, great examples that you should use as mentors.
Your mom is the prime example. Selfless, tireless, passionate defender of her kids and husband – that is your mother. You cannot measure the love she has for us, and you’ll never know the hours she has spent FOR US. Your grandmothers are also such perfect examples for you to emulate as well. Like Ann Richards, times were more difficult for them. They are givers, living for others, caring for others, worrying about others. These are the people you need to pay attention to. I hope you realize just how special it is for you to gaze into the kitchen and see you mother, quietly preparing your lunch each morning before the sun rises. This is a great gift!!
I just want you to take the time and pay attention to the women in your life, and strive to be like the great ones. And pay attention to each other! You both have great gifts, though they might be hard to see because you are so close. Being a woman is much more difficult than being a man – I am certain of this. You’ll have to work harder and endure more pain than most men. Allow the strong women in your life to imprint on your heart and soul. Read about women in the past. Imagine what it was like to be them – this might be the best tool to truly appreciate their significance.
Imagine being your mom, having a 17-month-old and a newborn, in a new city, trying to adjust personally while surrounded by all kinds of demands. Your mom did this – appreciate it, know it, understand it, love her for it. Remember…
Can you imagine, in the 1950s, in Alabama, and being a black woman and being ordered to give up your seat on a bus to a white man? Knowing that blacks were being lynched all around you? How strong must you have been to endure this? Read about Rosa Parks. Read about the women who had to march and protest in order to gain the right to vote in the early-1900s.
Read about Harriet Tubman, who led slaves to freedom! Put yourself in Tubman’s place – in the deep south in the 1800s, running through the woods under a moon’s glow, knowing that any minute you could be killed. But don’t just imagine the fear she must have felt, but also imagine the exhilaration! What must she had been thinking as she watched a man, a woman and their children continue on to freedom they had never known? And what strength it must have taken for her to not only get them to freedom, but to return SOUTH to save more folks? That’s the part I don’t get – standing, alone, in the dark of night, and seeing freedom just across the pasture…and then turning around, heading south. I don’t know if I could’ve done it, but Tubman did it, and I know for a fact your mother would’ve too. Just imagine that feeling!!! Frightening and wonderful at the same time!!
Your modern day role models are certainly the women in your family, in your blood, but they are also all around you in normal society. Pay attention to women who adopt children and love them as their own. When you see women break through man-made (literally) barriers in athletics, make mental note. Use them as building blocks in your soul! Pay attention to teachers. Build yourself not only with what you have – innate – inside you, but also from what you learn from others.
Each of you have a destiny – read about all of these great women, watch your mother and how she lives and loves, and gather all of this and hold it all with great strength near your heart. Talk to your mom about what makes her tick, about her feelings during certain times of her life, about love and raising kids and being a wife. Absorb. Learn. Listen. Above all else, listen!
This is something Ann Richards said that I think you should always remember, about being a woman: “Set your own course. Dream your own dreams. Go to places you want to go, even if no one has gone there before. Stand your ground."
I think that’s a good thing to remember.
I’m proud that you are my daughters.
I love you.
Dad